Calm down?

Back at it! This time, a new client, a recruitment company in North London. 

I always end a session with time for a Q&A.

It is always a great learning opportunity for the group, including me.

The hot topic is people's language, whether passive-aggressive or downright aggressive, and the options to respond to it.

We did a brain dump on phrases people throw at you.

One line that got the group nodding in agreement was "Calm down". 

Words that trip off the tongue so easily and yet could trigger the Incredible Hulk in all of us, guaranteeing the complete opposite of calming down. 

Why doesn't it work? 

It's condescending and triggering. Who can calm down on cue? 

It suggests that the other party is not listening, and that's what we all want;

to be heard, not shut down.

But it leads on to how important it is to stop and actively listen, something I feel should be taught in schools along with critical thinking and self-defence.

De-escalate yourself first, think, then act.

Learning self-defence is just one piece of the jigsaw for women to feel safer.

An essential part of learning self-defence is focused on threat assessment, awareness and avoidance. But if a situation requires force, then we will use force.  #theselfdefencecoach